Does Christianity and Masturbation Mix?

Well, Saint Peter will allow you in the gate if that’s your main concern. We talked previously about marital sex and whether or not sex toys were ok. What if you are alone? What if you enjoy watching your partner masturbate? Is any of this a sin? What if I masturbate and want to use a toy like a FleshLight? These are good questions and OK questions. You are exploring your sexuality, and that is a very healthy and positive thing.

What does my community think?

What we have found in our research is that the Christian community is more focused on the idea of lustful thoughts while viewing lewd or pornographic material. It appears to me that many people sometimes confuse the point that the Lust or Desire in your heart for another person, other than your partner, is the sin.  There is a reference (Matthew 5:28) in the bible which refers to Jesus stating that a christian should not look upon a woman to lust after her.

What is in the Message “Not to Lust”?

We need to remember that we are referencing a book that must be applied to today’s society. I feel that the above mentioned passage is referencing lusting after either a man or woman because the point is Lust. This passage should be viewed that Jesus was preventing you from feeling any form of embarrassment or shame within yourself for desiring someone other than your partner.  If you are in a relationship that isn’t open, sharing, and communicative you will find that anything you keep from your partner will bring shame and secrets to the marriage/partnership.  Secrets are detrimental to any partnership as they close doors and shut down intimacy. This still applies to individuals who are not in a relationship. If you are ashamed of yourself and what you do, chances are, you will bring that into the relationship.

Masturbation is not a sin. I walk the truth, what can I say. Its the use of lewd or pornographic material that becomes the questionable portion of masturbation.  Exploring your body and using your mind to focus on senses and areas that are pleasurable certainly are gifts from God.  In fact, if you are not in a marriage and believe in abstinence, masturbation is a healthy act that can help you keep your hormone levels balanced as well as help prevent prostate cancer! It actually from a health perspective should be encouraged!

What About Sex Toys?

This is the area where I feel this will be your own personal interpretation. At the store, we have removed many items that would be considered pornographic material. We have also removed anything that takes on the the likeness of an individual, such as a porn star or movie star, so that we don’t introduce the concept of “Lust”. We do offer the Fleshlight which does take on a likeness in some form. However, we left this up to your choice. There are items there that we would not typically choose to offer in our Christian focused store, however, we would limit masturbation toys for men greatly. I feel that since this brand is actually in the appearance of a flashlight and not the human form, we are not necessarily falling into the Lustful category. We offer another choice with Tenga products. These products are highly sought after in Japan and are considered some of the best male masturbation toys. Particularly the Tenga Flip Air; a newer product from Tenga. More info on Tenga can be found here

Is mixing sex and Religion Bad?

Since we recently opened up our store http://www.sinfreetoys.com, the first reaction I get is “You’re mixing sex and religion?”.  Why yes, I am the mixologist of what seems to be two scary ingredients; sex and Christianity.  I am going to blow it up soon within the company and add MORE religions.. That’s right, that’s how Sin Free Toys, Inc. rolls. I want to make sure I make a remark that we do not take a stance in any way towards any one particular religion. We are learning, like most, and will open the store up to more religious preferences soon.

So back to to Christianity and yes.. delicious sex.

Do people really think mixing sex and religion is that bad?

yes.  Katy Perry was recently quoted in an huffingtonpost.com article saying “ I think when you put sex and spirituality in the same bottle and shake it up, bad things happen.” To be honest, Katy, I think when you exploit any two topics and mix it up, they become explosive.  For instance.. talking about Llama’s could be a simple farming subject. If I say hey.. Llama’s and sex.. bad things happen.

Are we to believe that if God created human beings and gifted them with sexuality, that it was to be used only for the bleached white washed use of procreation? Well this  lady doth protest too much! I can think of one reason; God  gave women the ability to orgasm for the simple feeling of pleasure. Many women today are baking little cookies in their ovens without the need for one, so why put it there? So why must both sex and religion generate such negativity? Why is it the defacto standard to assume so?

How do we make sex + Christianity = positive?

By talking about it, writing about it and educating the masses.  Sex gets a bad reputation. How can something that is joyous, be a gift from god and be considered Taboo? I believe that it starts with what we teach our children. Most Christians teach that we should abstain from sex before marriage. Ok, nothing wrong with that. I think the the teaching of abstinence is a great thing. Who really needs their daughter pregnant at 15? What I see parents teaching however is that sex is wrong, bad, evil, or not what God wants. Then when you get married…we expect our children to immediately think “Sex is Awesome”. To many times I find my Christian friends in relationships struggling with sex. Getting it, exploring it, and having their desires fulfilled.  Despite gods request in the bible for you to please your partner, this seems to be a huge breakdown with my Christian friends.

I hope that by having sites like http://blog.sinfreetoys.com and the few other Christian Sex Authors out there, we can eliminate this practice. Dont get into a fit, I didn’t say stop talking about abstinence, but why portray sex as a sin in such an early age.  Hopefully the Christian Couples we focus on will use our blog as a forum to think about changing how they communicate to their kids the need for them to practice abstinence, as preached by their religion, but not because its bad.  I searched all night for Christian Sex Blogs and let me tell ya, few exist.  But its not just blogs; Christian catered books about sex, pleasure, and  How-To’s are just lacking.  Is it because we are so afraid to mix these two ingredients?

What is Sin Free Toys, Inc. going to do about it?

I believe that collectively, owners and authors of sex centric businesses and blogs have a responsibility to also present discussions about sexuality and spirituality without the grit.  We need to respect the many facets of sexuality and the depths of nastiness it can go to. Keeping our focus to present information and products without seeing Tera Patrick having baby batter shot at her face. While some may enjoy this vision, I think this is what keeps sex as a whole a taboo instead of the act of frosting Tera Patrick being Taboo.  (BTW she wrote an excellent book called Sinner Takes All which doesn’t glorify pornography but instead it’s a progressive walk through love, a job in porn, and the end of a marriage) Ok, back to our posh drink, Christian Sex.

My hope with our blog site is that other Christian Sex Authors will write here, positively, and that we wont be seen as just a “sex toy store” but a stop where you can safely talk, learn and obtain products in a “sex positive” location.

Is Sin Free Toys, Inc. run by Doctors?

No.  I may hold a doctorate of sex in my marriage bed, but I am no doctor. I admit, I am limping along trying to help this community. So.. is there a Doctor in the house? Soon, I hope.

Go forth Christians, be positive.  I promise to provide you a safe store that is calming and inviting. That offers products more than just a dildo and in case you were wondering about our stance on privacy, check out our Privacy Policy.

No. Lets just start right there.  Now, if you have strange desires that involves something other than a human partner or toy designed for pleasure, God thinks you need a therapist.  So what is ok for a Christian? What decisions did Sin Free Toys, Inc. make to setup its Christian focused sex toy store?

Its not immoral or wrong to want to try new things. Pleasure is a gift and you should explore it as much as possible. Studies have shown; having sex fights heart disease, frequent male ejaculation can reduce chances of prostate cancer, a healthy marriage includes sexual intamcy, and the list goes on.  Basically, your body was designed to be pleasured.

So what parameters did we use? What is a Sexual Sin?

Our local religious advisor pointed us to the following locations in the bible.  It was stated that the following is considered a “sin” when it comes to sexual relations, or “immoral”.

• fornication/unmarried sex (Galatians 5:19, 1 Corinthians 7:2 & 36)
• adultery (Exodus 20:14, Matthew 5:27)
• bestiality (Leviticus 18:23 & 20:15-16)
• prostitution (Leviticus 19:29, Deuteronomy 23:17, Proverbs 23:27, 1 Corinthians 6:15-16)
• incest (Leviticus 18:6)

Ok.. so that means what?

What did Sin Free Toys, Inc. Decide?

Bondage

Oral Sex

The act of Oral Sex, we found, has absolutely no sin associated with it. Our adviser referred us to Song of Songs 2:3 and Song of Songs 4:16 and 8:2. These passages are believed to refer directly to the acts of oral pleasure for both male and female partners.  What we found were most questions or concerns are with the Taboo of Oral Sex and to the cleanliness of the act.  If you maintain your “fun zone” you will find less germs exist there than whats in your actual mouth!  We recently wrote a mini “how-to” on Oral Sex if you want to review.

Anal Sex

We left Anal Sex Toys completely out of the christian store. We don’t have an opinion on whether or not Anal Sex is right or wrong, but our own beliefs is that the Christian Community would prefer this to not be in their store selections.  While generally, most Christian advisers label Anal Sex as a sin because of  the remarks the bible makes in aversion to male homosexuality.  However, we believe that the Bible considers “homosexuality” a sin and not the actual act of Anal Sex.  We simply understand that the majority prefers the removal of the products.

Sex Toys and/or Aids

Your bed, couch, kitchen counter or living room floor is basically yours to do whatever you want on it. But there are confines on what you introduce into those zones. We don’t present any sex toy that models a “realistic” appearance. Many toys are modeled from porn stars and therefore take on a likeness.  While our adviser had no actual reference for us, it is believed that having such an item could be considered “coveting” another partner. Therefore, we removed these items.

Sex toys are meant to change up the scene and introduce some spice into your zone. They are also tools that can be used to help enhance or stimulate the performance of your partner. To keep the pleasure natural, we removed any enhancers so that your sexual activity can remain purely what your body can perform.

Any other items we felt were either harmful, depicted disrespectful images or pornographic images and/or did not fit within the confines of the Christian Religion.

Still Confused?

Talk with your local christian leader for any further advice. Remember to make sure that you talk with your partner on what he/she fantasizes for. If its acceptable to you and does not fall within the definitions of Sexual Sins listed above, I say go for it.  My husband and I often joke with each other and say; Sex is not a sin, and either is a little lube

An excellent article written by Sheila Gregoire

http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/category/sex/29-days-to-great-sex/

What you should know, from my findings, oral sex is not a crime and for the Christian religion, not a sin.  As a couple it is paramount to maintain a healthy active sexual lifestyle. Many advise that this keeps the bond between partners strong, a bond that lasts. It keeps you vulnerable to each other and open.  Having that is what keeps trust strong and faith alive. But I digress, this isn’t about marriage its about well frankly, Blow Jobs.

Many couples are finding that for whatever reason, physical intercourse is not possible, so Oral Sex may be the next best thing.

The first thing you want to remember is that the majority of men out there want Oral Sex. There are many things to consider when your man approaches you with this request, more than I think even men realize. We have to start with some ground rules, because things can go really wrong….horribly wrong.

It is vital to your man and your marriage that you approach and treat your husband’s “goods and services” with  affection and a gentle touch (unless he asks otherwise).  This also applies to your reactions. If you shrink, shudder, or respond negatively to his requests, this could lead to despondency in your marriage/relationship. Seriously. Get it in your head that his “fun zone” is nothing but that. A fun, soft, cuddly.. toy! Oral sex and its taboo’s can have you leading to believe that this is a disgusting request, but its not.

Timing is everything, as usual right? You wouldn’t want to initiate this act while kids are swimming or your expecting your son home for curfew.  Now I know what your thinking, “what about quickies”? I am not discounting these as they are fun and can include Oral Sex. What I suggest is using blocks of time to develop your “style” and learning what your partner responds to.

Start by giving him a little rub or nudge or however you let him know, “its sexy time”. Or simply when your partner asks for it. If you feel squeamishness think “its a cute beanie baby” and get a grip.  Remember, don’t ever let on that you are grossed out by his member.  Give his penis a soft kiss and caress it with your hand to hold it up, gently. Remember this is a very sensitive area for a man so don’t grip it like your in the Tour de France. Gentle kisses  on the head of the penis, maybe a lick or two around the head. Now, hopefully your lover is clean. Don’t go get the hand sanitizer, just request that he washes up before you start. Ok back to gentle kissing; now kiss the head and lick around the head of the penis.  Lick around the ridge and begin to use your hand to stroke the penis. The area may be a little dry for this, so just keep licking and kissing. You will find yourself, the more he is pleased, exploring on your own.  This isn’t a sin, and believe me, God doesn’t want to watch this; he’s moved on to someone a little more criminal.

Alright, once you’ve gotten comfortable kissing and caressing, if its all you can take for now, just jump on top and break it down, if you feel yourself ready to move on…let’s continue.

Ok, now its “Hammer Time”.  I suggest you use a little flavor lube for this sort of activity. I didn’t mention it before because I didn’t want to get all squirelly on you and discourage this very fun and loving exercise.  But the flavor will help you enjoy the activity and the lubricant will help him. Warming lubricants are not necessary because your mouth is already pretty warm…Lets get back to it.

So your kissing, licking and stroking. You’ve introduced some lubricant and its time to insert his penis into your mouth. ::CAUTION:: in case you forgot, your mouth has teeth. Teeth hurt. So protect his penis buy using your tongue as a placeholder for the penis. I find rolling your upper lip around your teeth will protect him from those choppers too.  at this point, the penis is in your mouth and you can practice sucking on it. You can suck on small areas of the penis, just the head, or with the whole thing in your mouth.

You should also begin to move your head up and down so the penis goes in and out of your mouth, simulating the same it would do with your vaginal opening. When you move your head up and down, use your hand to follow along with. The more contact and movement the more excited he will become. If you feel comfortable with it, you can start to move your tongue around, watch the teeth, and your hand.  The rest is left for you to develop on your own because only you will know what your man prefers.

I should mention that there is a critical discussion that you may want to have prior to this recreational activity, especially if you are experiencing squeamishness, is what happens when your partner ejaculates.  Your partner may want you to swallow the baby batter. This is really only for the strong. If you think you can do it, it will be hot and you may add another decade to your marriage/relationship or get engaged. If not, he needs to tell you when its about to happen so he can take control of his orgasm. Where that goes, again, up to you both.

Once you get comfortable with all of this, you may want to add some fun into the mix. We sell a variety of products and toys that vibrate to help out with your new skill.  Also, to help with the clean-up, we also offer hygiene products to clean you and your partner up.

Have Fun!