Stepping outside the sexual norm is not a new concept. One of the greatest models for Bondage wear was Betty Page and she is considered the Queen of Pin-Ups and the first “famous” Bondage model. Images of Betty were printed out in the 1950′s, showing us bondage as a sexual fantasy has been around for quite some time.
Not to say that Bondage should be considered part of the “sexual norm” but consensual bondage can be very safe and may lie in the confines of your religious beliefs. Bondage doesn’t necessarily need to mean “harm”. The idea of using handcuffs and some spank is not degrading. Most religions frown upon bondage when it becomes degrading. Bondage is a word used for a wide variety of activities, most of which can be safe, fun and non-degrading.
So how do you ask your partner “Lets get down tonight, btw that includes the pink furry hand-cuffs” without sounding salacious or having your partner think “How Pedestrian!”?
I am no dominationologist but in a caring loving marriage or relationship conversing about what you want before the act of sex can really help let go of your inhibitions. A little spank and a bad boy can be fun, but make sure you talk about how hard and what is the word that means “no, really, stop it before I get mad”. Start with a conversation; you will probably feel most comfortable while you are close-up and getting your heavy petting on.
What if you are too uncomfortable to bring it up then? Personally, I think its gonna be a little more crafty than “Hey use these handcuffs, poke me from behind and take out the trash afterwards”. Try starting out with his tie, or silky scarves before you hit up the leather restraints and standard issue handcuffs. See if your partner enjoys it first with items around the house. Or even start out with a standard pair of Pink Fuzzy Handcuffs. Get crafy too. You dont need to restrain your partner as if they are being carted off like a sexual deviant. Just put one around her/his wrist and maybe another to the bedpost and give them the key.
Whatever you do, communication is key. Talk about what you want to try and ensure your partner that if they dont like it, its ok.. you’ll move on.
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Remember, its about having fun and enjoying each other and yourself. Bondage or kink will take you outside of the sexual norm and into fantasy land.. letting you let go just a little.